9 years old

What were you doing when you were 9? Hmmmmmmm..............I was in, what....the 4th grade? I was learning double digit multiplication (I remember specifically because I had a really hard time learning this one), reading stories, auditioning for our school Christmas play (where I was selected as the "mother" of the play). I also had this INCREDIBLE black bus driver that I will NEVER forget. She made EVERYONE feel "cool" and special. She sang songs with us all the way to school! It was wild. We LOVED her. I LOVED riding the bus. How many kids do you hear say that today?

Why do I even bring up 9 years old? Because I am sitting here watching our local news and was saddened by a story about a 9 year old girl that has ANOREXIA!!! WHAT THE HECK!?!?!? Is our society so terrible that a NINE year old truly CARES about what she looks like SOOO much that she develops an eating disorder?? What is going on in this world today?!?! Do we as mothers teach this to them without knowing it by looking in the mirror and saying," Whew. I look fat in this!" or, "I wish I could loose some weight." I know one of my older brothers used to tell me that I needed to stop eating so much because I was "chubby". I remember HIM being the first one to make me look at myself in a negative light. To this day he has no idea I remember that. HOWEVER, it didn't make me stop eating!!! And, by the way, I was a TAD chunky, but NOT fat. I will post a picture if I can find one around here.

This story just stung me when I heard it. WE are doing this to our kids and I don't think we even realize it! SIZE 2's are NOT normal! BUT, almost everything kids see (magazines, movies, videos, etc.) make it look like it is. I'm really sickened by this story.

I have a daughter. Her name is Katie. I was ecstatic when we found out she was a girl, but inside I was terrified. Why? Because I don't think I can raise her with all the things she needs. Probably a fear most parents have but I truly feel this way. I was not raised from a mom who taught me about "girly" things. She never showed me how to put on makeup, wear cute clothes or pluck my eyebrows. She never taught me how to cross my legs or wear hose. She didn't help pick out any prom dress or take the time to show me any girly things. She never told me what a period was either. So you can see why I'm 34 years old and freaking out that I NOW have to raise a daughter with the fear of doing the same thing to her. I think because I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO on the opposite side of the spectrum from my mom in most ways, that I won't do this to her, but I'm still scared to death. Who's to say that when she's 9 I won't be going NUTS because she's got an eating disorder?

Every generation, I'm sure, goes through the, "It's so much worse these days" syndrome, but I truly feel that in the year 2007, raising kids is a scary time.

I pray that this process (of losing weight) will help me teach my children how to eat healthy, have a positive look about themselves, and be genuinely happy and healthy people.

Thanks for giving me a place to share my thoughts.